When Life Choices Become Grave Mistakes
I'm deeply saddened to hear about the tragic "accident" that claimed the lives of three young men: Khyree Jackson (24), Isaiah Hazel (23), and Anthony Lytton Jr. (24). These childhood friends shared dreams and aspirations of becoming professional athletes. They achieved success together as high school teammates, winning a state championship. Their journey continued as Lytton Jr. played football at Florida State and Penn State, Hazel at Maryland and Charlotte, and Jackson at Alabama under Nick Saban before transferring to Oregon. Recently, Jackson was pursuing his dreams with the Minnesota Vikings, who drafted him in the fourth round just this past spring.
Jackson, Hazel, Lytton Jr. continues after personal experiences:
This story is familiar to many throughout the country. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death for individuals aged 16–24 years old. What’s not factored in is just how many of these instances could have been prevented had the operators of these motor vehicles made a different life choice.
In hopes of preventing more of these grave mistakes, I am asking whether you are a parent, coach, player, or anyone who works closely with individuals in the 16–24 age range to please share the following personal experiences regarding “life choices” made while operating a motor vehicle.
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My Roommate Scott:
We are entering a time when millions of high school graduates transition into their first year of college, they are poised to experience increased freedom and personal responsibility. The coming months will offer abundant opportunities to connect with others and forge new friendships.
In the fall of 1996, I began my freshman year at Grand Valley State University in Allendale, Michigan. Like all first-year students, I was required to live on campus, where I met my roommate, Scott, in our dorm at Copeland Hall. Scott had earned a tennis scholarship, and our time together not only forged a strong friendship but also created a brotherhood with the other guys on our dorm's third floor. Little did I realize the eerie coincidence that the words "cope" and "land" in our dormitory's name would take on tragic significance for hundreds of students one fateful night.
I recall entering our dorm room and noticing Scott wasn't in his usual spot on the top bunk. A few guys who stopped by mentioned he was out with some other friends and wouldn't be back until late. Early the next morning, I was awakened by our hall director, who appeared visibly upset. He told me he had news to share and didn't hide the gravity of what he needed to say. His voice cracked as he delivered the words, "There's been an accident. Three of your friends sustained severe injuries but are in stable condition. However, Scott is in a coma and receiving intensive critical care."
In the days following the accident, news spread and we gradually learned more about what had transpired that night. Some friends quickly painted a memorial on "The Rock" outside Copeland Hall. They also came to understand that our friends bore some personal responsibility for the events leading up to the accident. This particular group had opted to take a drive on backcountry roads to find a cornfield where they could smoke marijuana and get high—a choice that night that they would come to regret. At the time, a winding, two-lane road connected the campus to the nearest place to satisfy their hunger—or in this case, their "munchies".
Later that night, details about the other driver emerged as several students shouted outside our hall, leading to a scuffle around "The Rock." Once things calmed down, we discovered that the other driver was a fraternity brother of theirs. He had made the ill-fated decision to consume multiple drinks at a local bar and then drive back to campus via the same winding road. Tragically, his vehicle crossed the center line and collided head-on with our friend's car.
Among the many grim details that surfaced afterward, one particularly haunting fact stands out: the other driver's toxicology report tested positive for substances. In contrast, due to the severe blood loss suffered by our friends, their tests came back negative. Additionally, there was a chilling account that Scott was nearly left at the scene. Positioned in the back seat, the impact of the collision thrust him forward into the cramped space between the back seat and under the driver’s seat, which had been pushed over the top of him.
Over the following weeks and months, our friends underwent multiple surgeries as they slowly began to recover physically from the accident. During one of our visits, we even witnessed the fraternity brother being discharged with just a boot on his foot, using crutches to pass by our disapproving stares and scowls. Scott eventually regained consciousness and embarked on a challenging journey of recovery, relearning basic "life skills" that are often taken for granted.
Fortunately, no lives were lost in this experience. However, tragically, that was not the case for Jenifer, my high school classmate, and Matt, a former player I coached.
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My High School Classmate Jenifer:
In 1996, during my senior year of high school, I had a vivid dream that Jenifer was killed in a car accident. The emotions I experienced upon waking were so intense that it felt more like a premonition than just a dream. I confided in my friend Brian about my unsettling feeling that something terrible might happen to Jenifer. This unease subsided as I continued to see her daily at school and during our high school graduation. Tragically, a little over a year later, my worst fears became a devastating reality: Jenifer's vehicle was struck by a drunk driver, instantly claiming her life and injuring her cousin who was seated beside her in the passenger seat.
Every year on her birthday and on the Fourth of July, Jenifer's mother, Deb, shares a heartfelt memorial. It serves as a poignant reminder of the enduring pain and suffering experienced by friends and family when a loved one's life is tragically cut short. Jenifer's untimely death is a particularly poignant reminder of a life filled with potential and promise, now forever lost.
A mother’s sorrow expressed in her own words:
July 4th, 2013:
16 years ago today a parent’s worst nightmare was mine. My 19-year-old daughter was gone from my life forever. July 4th is full of sun, fun, campfires, food, friends, and family, now just a day that is the anniversary of my daughter’s death.
I will never know if she would have made a career in the medical field, I will never get to see her in her wedding gown, and the list goes on and on. In the moment when her life had just begun, it tragically came to an abrupt end.
Not only was a daughter gone, but so was a sister, a granddaughter, a cousin, and a gem of a friend was lost as well.
In one of her final journal entries, she wrote, “Life is short, very short…hate is a strong word, speak your words wisely.” Yesterday is gone, today is almost over, and tomorrow isn’t promised. If you have someone that you need to make peace with do it, they may not accept your offering, but if tomorrow never comes you will have no regrets.
My tears are flowing like a river now and YES, I still cry even after 16 years. If you decide to party so be it…BUT DO NOT DRIVE!
July 4th, 2024:
It has hit hard this year that it has been 27 years today since I saw that big smile, some days it feels like yesterday. There’s much to say here. Your sister is now engaged and having a baby! I know you know how much joy that brings to us and her. I know you continue to watch over us in good times and bad. Your last journal entry is still difficult to live with, but I continue to find strength in friends, family, and God. I know Grandma, Gramps, and others are with you today. We all LOVE and MISS you dearly. I hope you visit me in my dreams tonight. I Love you! Your Momma.
Former Player Coached, Matt:
Nearly a decade after experiencing the tragedies of Scott and Jenifer, I had what felt like a second premonition as a high school football coach. During our summer camp, the coaches conducted an exercise with our players where we shared our greatest fears. Previous coaches had spoken about their fears of losing a child or spouse. With Jenifer's passing still fresh in my mind, I spoke directly to the players about my greatest fear: attending one of their funerals. Matt happened to be sitting in the front row, and I distinctly remember making eye contact with him as I recounted the tragic losses due to motor vehicle accidents, including Scott's story and Jenifer's heartbreaking fate.
Once again, almost exactly one year after expressing that fear, I received devastating news: Matt was killed in a car accident. In a tragic moment of unawareness, he inadvertently made a U-turn on a busy road, crossing paths with another vehicle that struck his driver-side door, ending his life instantly. Matt was only 19 years old, with a fiancée and a child on the way.
He never had the chance to marry, experience fatherhood, or embrace the promising future that lay ahead of him. His untimely death cut short a life filled with potential and dreams.
Memories of Matt as expressed through those who knew him:
I knew Matt from school and worked with him at Wendy’s. He was always the life of the party, Whenever he showed up you knew there would never be a dull moment. He was always willing to go out of his way to help people. He constantly spoke about the joys of becoming a father. He was so excited and had his life going for him.
Jessica
September 1, 2006
Matt is a great person and an awesome friend. He will always be in our hearts and in our prayers. We knew Matt pretty much our whole life. We had great times together, camping, and birthday celebrations, memories we will never forget. He was so fun to be around and always did the funniest stuff. Matt could always cheer anyone up during the saddest times.
Erin, Katie, Jordan, and Sam
August 28, 2006
I knew Matt through rough middle school years until he graduated this past May. He desired to be a supportive father and further his education by attending college. He would have loved to play football, but likely had too many responsibilities to fit that into the plan. His family and friends will truly miss him.
Ellen
August 27, 2006
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Jackson, Hazel, Lytton Jr. Con't:
Thank you for taking that personal journey with me. In the events of Jenifer and Matt, both of their deaths were preventable just as the accident that claimed the lives of Jackson, Hazel, and Lytton Jr.
Early reports suggest that the driver of the other vehicle that collided with theirs was intoxicated, highlighting that this incident was less of an "accident" and more about both parties making a specific "life choice" while operating their vehicles.
Before transferring to Oregon, Jackson spent two years at Alabama under Nick Saban, who often cautioned his players that "nothing good happens after midnight." The tragic accident, reported to have occurred around 3:14 am on Saturday, July 6th, underscores this advice. It's important to clarify that discussing the timing of the incident is not about blaming the victims who lost their lives. Rather, it raises questions that will undoubtedly weigh heavily on their families as they grapple with their profound loss. These questions serve as reminders of the complexities surrounding such tragic events.
As for the families of the individuals in the other vehicle, they too will be mourning as they await the legal consequences for their loved ones and grapple with the mental toll of knowing their actions contributed to the deaths of three people. These individuals had aspirations of becoming professional athletes: Jackson had already achieved that goal, while Hazel and Lytton Jr. were still on the path to realizing theirs. Now, for their families and friends, every holiday thereafter will be a time of mourning, reflection, and wondering who they would have become today.
A silver lining that can emerge from these experiences is that parents, coaches, and players can use these stories as powerful examples of how "grave mistakes" can be avoided by making different "life choices." These tragedies underscore the importance of responsible decision-making, especially when it comes to actions that can impact not only individuals but entire communities. By learning from these stories, individuals can strive to create safer environments and prevent similar heartbreaking outcomes in the future.